It Seems That Size DOES Matter…

In his continuing efforts to become a 21^st century Renaissance man, Shaquille O’Neal can now add art curator to his impressively long list of accomplishments which includes actor, Ph.D. student, author and NBA star.  The 7-foot-1-inch centre for the Cleveland Cavaliers opened his first exhibition “Size Does Matter” this week at the FLAG Art Foundation in Chelsea, NY, featuring 66 pieces of artwork that Shaq chose himself.  Shaq talked about his choice in artwork to New York Magazine, explaining that “Art is a process of delivering or arranging elements that appeal to the emotions of a person looking at it. It’s what you feel. I picked those things because they were beautiful. The thing about size — if it’s big or small you have to look at it. Because I’m so big you have to look at me. I think of myself as a monument. But sometimes I like to feel small.”  The pieces range from a gargantuan table and chair set that dwarfs the superstar to a portrait of Shaq that is so tiny it can fit into the eye of a needle.  My personal favourite is Ron Mueck’s “Untitled (Big Man)”, a 7-foot sculpture of an old, bald man curled up in a fairly unflattering position, solely because it makes me feel good about how I look naked.   The exhibit examines scale in contemporary art and will run until May 27th.  As long as all the men out there can overlook the title of the exhibit, I predict it will be a BIG success.

Just How Thin is Too Thin…

Walking Man I

With a flagrant disregard for the recession the world is currently mired in, records were shattered this week at Sotheby’s when Alberto Giacometti’s L’Homme Qui Marche I (Walking Man I) was sold for a whopping £58 million to an anonymous buyer, making it the most expensive object ever sold at auction.  One of only six casts created, the piece is said to be Giacometti’s most iconic figure; as it was with it that he first experimented with the walking man theme on a monumental scale. Bidding for the sculpture, which bears a startling resemblance to Kate Moss, started at £12 million pounds and rapidly rose in £1 and £2 million pound increments until reaching its staggering selling price.  The seller was a German bank, who obviously thought gold bullion was passé and decided to invest instead in modern art.  I am now considering a) moving to Germany where people are super-smart or b) spending my life savings on art, which with my savings will mean purchasing paintings from the crazy guy on the street corner across from the library. The sale is said to be indicative of the return of the art market after the bubble burst in late 2008, or could just be an indication of how much we love ‘thin’ in the modern world. 

Giacometti once said that if he was caught in a fire and had to choose between a Rembrandt and a cat, he would choose the cat and set him free; that between life and art he would choose life. I’d choose the Rembrandt.

How Do You Mend a Broken Picasso?

The Actor

In what may turn out to be the most expensive fall in history, a klutzy art student visiting the Metropolitan Museum in New York fell into a Picasso.  The unidentified woman managed to create a 15 cm gash in The Actor, a 6ft by 4ft painting from Picasso’s critical Rose Period.  The Actor’s value has been estimated at over US$130 million, but the value may now be reduced by as much as half.  The mystery is how the woman managed to fall into the painting, which was hanging on a wall, and create such damage.  Maybe she was enjoying the priceless works of art so much that she started twirling pirouettes with careless abandon? Experts say that the damage is repairable, but it’s highly unlikely the painting will ever recover its original value.  The next time I visit the Met I suspect that I won’t  be looking at the amazing art through rose-coloured glasses, but through a thick pane of idiot-proof glass.

A Performance I Hope Never To See….

A woman in Edmonton proved once again that the truth is stranger than fiction when she claimed that an enraged attack on her ex-lover was, in fact, a piece of performance art.  Karen Marilyn Huska, 56, had separated from Deanne Timmons in the months before the attack, then the situation deteriorated, Timmons got a restraining order and Huska attempted suicide.  It was after all this that Huska conceived her piece of performance art.  I rarely understand performance art at the best of times, but what Huska claimed her reasoning was to the court is truly mind-boggling.  Huska grabbed a cheese knife and filet knife from her drawers and headed over to Timmons residence.  She planned to say aloud “I am not a violent person”, then fall to her knees and throw the knives over her shoulders.  Huska thought that this would allow Timmons to see the person she truly is and open the doors of communication.  Obviously, the first thing a person thinks when they see a knife-wielding, crazed ex-lover is that they need to talk.  Timmons and another woman had barricaded themselves in their bedroom when they heard the break-in, and when Huska burst into the bedroom Timmons was able to hold her off until the police came. Huska was convicted of breaking and entering and uttering threats for the Feb. 25, 2007 attack. “Jealousy is one of the most powerful emotions we all have to deal with at some point in our lives,” the judge said, adding “I reject categorically and completely the suggestion that she went to the house to do performance art.”  Not all artists are crazy, but many crazies think they’re artists.

Undressed to Impress in Vancouver…

The Olympics are just around the corner and Vancouver’s art scene is geared up to impress its share of the thousands of people soon to flood the city.  The Vancouver Art Gallery will be exhibiting a rare collection of Leonardo da Vinci’s anatomical drawings from February 6^th to May 2^nd.  It will be the first time that “Anatomical Manuscript A” will be shown to the public as a complete set since da Vinci drew them in the early 1500’s.  The exhibit concentrates on the movements of musculature and the structures of the human body, a very fitting collection considering the large amount of muscled athletes that will be in Vancouver for the Olympics.  Not that most of us need any help imagining them without their uniforms. The exhibit will be free for the duration of the Olympics, February 12^th-28^th, although it might be so busy during that time that you’ll be touching a few human bodies as well looking at them.

How Do We Go From Original Sin to 21st Century Squabbles?

In another confusing art world twist, a Connecticut woman is seeking to overturn the ruling of the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals in her fight for two very valuable 500 year old paintings.  Marei Von Saher is seeking the return of two prized German paintings from the Norton Simon Museum in California.  Currently, Holocaust survivors have been able to override the three year statue of limitations to recover ownership of valuables now in California that were lost in the war, but these rulings could mean they will lose that right. The paintings are on separate wooden panels and are of Adam and Eve, moments before the Fall, in the Garden of Eden by Lucas Cranach the Elder.  Von Saher’s father-in-law was a Dutch-Jewish art dealer who left the paintings in Holland while fleeing the Nazis.  While that sounds pretty cut and dry, the paintings have a history of different owners, especially in their last century of existence.  They changed hands in the Russian Revolution and again during Stalin’s reign of terror before Von Saher had to abandon them during the Holocaust.  After World War II, the heirs of Von Saher settled with the Dutch government for ownership of the panels.  If that wasn’t confusing enough, then the Dutch government transferred the paintings to George Stroganoff-Scherbatoff, who claimed them for his family of Russian nobles and subsequently sold them to Norton Simon in 1971.   The tug-of-war ownership battle on these amazing works of art might have a little something to do with them being appraised in 2006 at $24 million US, although I’m sure that Von Saher is seeking them for sentimental value or perhaps just for some titillating art for her bedroom.

Who Owns These Masterpieces?

How to Find a Great Deal on a (Scam) Artist…

Les Demoiselles d’Avignon 1907, Pablo Picasso

While growing up I was told to watch my P’s and Q’s, but wasn’t told anything about watching my P’s and L’s. Which would have come in handy when purchasing any art from Michael Zabrin.  Chicago’s Zabrin pled guilty on Tuesday of swindling at least 250 people out of over $1 million US by selling them forgeries of Picasso and other artists.  The 57 year old would send away to Spain or Italy for counterfeit limited edition fine art prints and then turn around and sell them for many times what he paid for them to unsuspecting would-be art connoisseurs on eBay.  Zabrin had a sophisticated code with his suppliers which he clearly put a lot of thought and effort into; when he needed fake Picassos he said “I need some P’s” and “I need some L’s” whenever he needed some forged Roy Lichtenstein artwork.  It’s a miracle he was ever caught using that level of intellectual prowess.  In a signed plea agreement with prosecutors Zabrin also recalls the summer of 2004 when he purchased eight counterfeit Chagall’s for $20,000US “which he resold at no less than three times his cost”.  Zabrin pled guilty to one count of mail fraud and will potentially be fined up to $250,000US and may spend up to 20 years in jail.

 If ever you find yourself tempted to buy a great work of art online for a shockingly low price, remember this:   The internet is like an amazing candy store, but somebody always has to be the sucker.

The French Can’t Fight But They Sure Can Steal…

Les Choristes

Did the art world make a New Year’s resolution to be more exciting?  2010 was started off with a bang when not one, but two major art thefts occurred this week.  The first theft happened at the Cantini Museum in Marseilles, where someone managed to break in and steal the small Edgar Degas pastel Les Choristes, valued at well over a million dollars.  It was on loan to the Cantini from the Musee d’Orsay and was supposed to journey on to Canada and Italy.  A million dollar theft is chump change to what happened just a few days later when over thirty paintings were stolen from a private countryside villa in La Cadiere-d’Azur while the homeowner was on vacation abroad, including a Picasso and a Rousseau.  From my vast experience of art heists, comprised entirely of watching movies usually starring Pierce Brosnan or Brad Pitt, a diversion is usually needed.  What better time than the end of the year, with two major holidays happening in just one week?  An anonymous source from the local police department stated that there was no indication that these two thefts were linked even though they happened in close proximity to one another.  These thefts highlight both the deep concern in France over illegal art trading and the ongoing issue of the lack of security in small museums.   So while it remains that good art is in the eye of the beholder, it appears that great art can be in the hands of anyone who believes in the five finger discount.